Let’s say I wake up one morning in Tennessee with a gross cough and a runny nose. What do I do? Should I go to the doctor? Heck, no! What do I look like, a millionaire? I go to Walgreens and buy as many pharmaceuticals as I can carry without talking to a medical professional even once. I buy something for the cough, something for my nose, something for my headache, something to pep me up and something to get me to sleep that night. I’ll get eye drops, nasal spray, special mouth wash, and aloe vera-infused tissues. Maybe throw in a bottle of vitamin C gummies. And a pack of scratchers from behind the counter.
Oh, shoot, looks like Walgreens is closed. That’s okay, I’ll go to Walmart. They have all of the stuff I want, plus I can get new cozy pyjamas to help me sleep off the sickness, a sheetcake to make me feel better, a fishing pole just because I can, and while I’m walking around I’ll get my oil changed.
America is a land of convenience.
France, in contrast, is very much not. The country and the continent have very strict laws when it comes to drugs — all kinds — which means that I, poor little American that I am, have to brave the French pharmacy system. Pharmacies in France will only sell you medications, hair and dental basics, and some infant stuff like wet wipes and cotton swabs. That is it, end of list. And all of the medicine is behind the counter, behind glass. You do not get to pick out your meds, oh no. That is far too dangerous. The public cannot be trusted with that responsibility.
No, you must consult with the pharmacist first. For everything. You want some ibuprofen for a minor headache? Please wait here and the pharmacist will listen to you explain your symptoms and then decide what you need. Maybe aspirin for a little heartburn? The pharmacist will see you now. Sorry, you want cough syrup? Are you a drug dealer or perhaps an addict? You’ll need a doctor’s prescription for something that dangerous and strong.
The only way to avoid talking to the pharmacist is to bring in a prescription. Am I being led to believe that French people go to the doctor to get prescriptions for Advil? Robitussin? Melatonin?
In a warped kind of way, this almost makes sense. Going to the doctor is free for most French citizens, or at least extremely cheap — like twenty dollars a visit. Plus, having a prescription brings the price of meds down. So a check-in with your general practitioner can be as inexpensive as a trip to Walgreens.
As a red-blooded American, I know to only seek licensed medical attention if I am actively bleeding out. And even then, I know to drive myself to the hospital rather than break the bank with an ambulance.
I suppose that’s the trade-off. Here in France, I can’t buy Tylenol without begging, but I can visit the hospital for free. In the U.S., I can’t afford to get a bone set by a doctor, but I can make C-4 in my kitchen with stuff I bought at the grocery store. Oh, well.
Cordialement,
Allison
Flan in France 