Definitely illegal in the U.S.

A friend of mine was telling me about a potluck her school’s teachers did during the lunch hour last week. She said that they do it once a month or so, not to celebrate anything, but just for the cameraderie. They invited her to eat as well (because French people are concerned that Americans can’t feed themselves correctly) and partake in the beverages.

My friend was startled to see several teachers produce bottles of wine from their bags. Mind you, this was noon, on a weekday, in the teacher’s lounge of a public school. And these civic employees split about three bottles between them.

My friend politely declined a cup, explaining that it might give her a headache at this hour. Apparently a couple students came knocking at one point, asking for help finding someone. One of the teachers opened the door and berated the students for interrupting. She thoroughly informed them that their interruption was rude and selfish (I imagine all this said with a cup of wine in hand).

In the time it took for the teacher to dress down these kids, my friend said she could have helped them four times over. But that isn’t the point; the point is that workers in France feel deeply entitled to the division between their working hours and their leisure hours, and do not tolerate breaching it. It’s not just about work-life separation. It’s a moral, societal code that underwrites all of French culture dating back to the Revolution. Before I am a worker, I am a person.

This is why the French have a strong stereotype of Americans being so kind and generous: we don’t really have that division. When they are waited on and served by workers in America (for instance, at a Starbucks) they are surprised by the smiles and offers of help or free items like napkins and refills.

For what it’s worth, I also think that Americans are kinder and more generous. Maybe that’s just my experience from growing up in the South. A French woman would never hedge her opinions with a subtle “bless your heart.” She would say, “You are acting like a mess and it is embarrassing for you.” A French teacher would never start a parent teacher conference with “He’s a joy to have in class, but…” The teacher would start with “He is having several problems.”

The big change comes when you get to know a French person closely. Once a French person considers you a friend and a peer, you really start to the reap the benefits. My prof ref is a wellspring of knowledge and kindness (although part of me thinks she knows to interact with me this way because of how well she understands the Anglophone mindset.) People here simply aren’t as forthcoming with interpersonal charity.

But still, wine at school?!

Cordialement,

Allison